Good-bye "sexy," hello "me"
My self-image about how sexy I am has changed. Before having both breasts removed, I spent more time on my looks, clothes, makeup, and being "sexy" for my boyfriend. My figure was society's idea of"sexy" and I worked it! It was fun! I was 39.
After my surgery, I chose not to have any reconstruction and I do not wear a prosthesis. I knew that I would be happier this way. I go f lat-chested and don't particularly try to hide the fact. I find that I wear T-shirts and knit tops because they fit better because they don't have darts. So it's very apparent that I have no breasts. Now at 43 with no chest, extra weight, cellulite, and one arm bigger than the other, I don't think I fit the mold of what sexy means in our
society anymore.
People say that you shouldn't allow society to dictate what sexy is, but everyone knows that it does so more than any of us want to admit. But my happiness is not dependent on being sexy. Even though "sexy" was fun while it lasted! Feeling less sexy has not changed the fact that I am a huggy-touchy-kissy person. I've always been this way and this never changed.
Although part of my self-image has changed due to having both breasts removed, I don't feel it has changed for the worse. It's just a different self-image now because I'm different now.
Tracy43
At the moment, I am bald, have about 10 eyebrow hairs, zero eyelashes, and one breast. Not a pretty picture. Fortunately, I know there is a lot more to me than what that picture presents and people love me for who I am. I never was much for fussing with my appearance, but I sure used to have great hair and a nice body. I feel even better about my self-worth, knowing I can get through this and the great support I am getting from family and friends.
I think the image part is a little harder on my kids. My nine-yearold often requests that I "wear my hair (wig)" when we go out. I'm hoping I can turn this into a little life lesson about appearances without his being embarrassed of his mom.
Michele
We are truly a society based on looks: if a person looks good then people assume that person is great. Sad, really, but true.
Princess86
That is so true! Everyone bases your health on your looks. I hear that you-look-great shit all of the time. Funny, that is society. I am just very proud to watch my daughter be so caring of others and never base any of her opinions on the way someone looks. I know sometimes when I looked and felt bad during treatment people would talk to me like I was going to die right there in front of them. I would always laugh at that, and those same people now are like, Oh my God, you look so great. You want to say, "Yeah you thought I would be dead by now." Most people in this world only think of theirselves.
bridgett
I found pictures of women who had mastectomies and found one that had a tattoo on her chest wall around the scar. I asked my husband what he thought about a tattoo. He did not think that was a good idea he loves me just the way I am and I have had enough done to my chest.
memphisgirl
Having a reconstructed breast has its own set of problems but I am very shy. I do not like drawing attention to myself in any way and even though most people are polite, I didn't like everyone noticing this. If anything, I think people feel sorry for you. I was physically very comfortable without a breast prior to my reconstruction and there was this side of me that just wanted to say to the world, "This happened to me so deal with it because I don't want to hide." But some courage just takes too much energy. I really admire the womenwho can do it though.
ScaredSilly
My greatest wish is to be confident enough to do without the prosthesis. I worry so much about the reactions of others. I know that is the wrong approach, but it is the best I can do right now. I do have a safe zone (home, immediate neighborhood for walking, family, and a few close friends). However, every situation requires careful consideration as to what I must wear. Winter is easier with multiple layers. I also exercise and have worked out a system to change in the gym (I will not go into the little closet set aside for the people like me!).
cj
I am a person who has always been modest about my body. I had large breasts and did everything I could to hide them. I always joke that I was given a Godsmack for being so self-conscious. I have had to bare my breasts to so many people throughout this breast cancer journey. Even though I currently have one breast and another with just a tissue expander, I am not self-conscious anymore. I feel that breast cancer allowed me to be self-forgiving of perceived body f laws. I look at all of my scars as chapters in the great journey that I have been on.
Lauren
The first thing you have to lose when you have been diagnosed with breast cancer is your modesty. That is something that goes right out the window. Your breasts are pinched, probed, then cut on, molded, painted, burned, and put on display for all the medical world to see.So if you have a problem with modesty you better get over it. I did.
Jackjoy
I was 18 when my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. For the five years she was alive I never saw her undressed or without her bra and prosthesis. It was all a mystery to me. Even the word breast cancer was never spoken out loud. It is now 35 years later. How things have changed. I am very open about my surgery, my chest or lack of one and my prosthesis. For me, it is the only way to be.
smilie
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