The first rule of medicine is Primum non nocere, which means, "In the first place, do no harm." One day, while reading the Yoga Sutras , I came across "Ahimsa" - the Sanskrit term for non-harming. It meant the very same thing that Hippocrates was implying in his Latin expression of Primum non nocere. I heard it, I read it and many years later, I taught it. But I had no idea it was a secret code. It was one of those secrets so powerful that it was hidden in plain view. I thought it only meant, "do not harm the patient," but in reality, it meant something much greater. Today it is still known as the first rule of medicine, but in truth, it is the declaration of how healing occurs - if you do not harm yourself, you will never harm others.
The only way we can harm ourselves is to ignore the voice of our conscience because our conscience will never let us harm ourselves or others. This phrase protects us from actions and internal judgments that lead to guilt and shame. Today these two emotions are commonly used as teaching tools. They are a poor choice. In my own upbringing, feeling guilty and ashamed never led to a positive result.
When Panditji first taught this principle of non-harming to me, he said, "Be nice to yourself, and be nice to others." It was immediately clear that the first goal was for me to be nice to myself. A few months later he saw me failing to do this and he then turned to me and said, "How can a human being be happy if he treats himself as his own worst enemy? What you need to do is always reward yourself; never punish yourself." I thought about this over and over - "only reward yourself," even when you make a mistake? Did he speak in error? Was he supporting error over accuracy? The more I thought, the more convinced I became that it was another cryptic code - one that would unveil a major breakthrough for me, personally and professionally. In those uncommon moments that inspire all of us, I finally cracked the code. It was a message about love .
The source of non-violence is unconditional love - it is both an attitude and a touchstone. This love nurtures our compassion and corrects erroneous views that lead to selfcondemnation. It is love without condition and it begins with yourself; it begins at home. Before I could unconditionally love my family, friends, and patients, I needed to unconditionally love myself, even when I was in error. There is simply no way around this truth. Indeed, this first principle is more important than the remaining four. It keeps you safe and keeps the world safe. According to the yogic texts, when you become firmly established in kindness - which is what "doing no harm" means - other people who come near you will naturally lose any feelings of hostility. Once I understood this first principle, I saw how many of my patients were failing to abide by it.
John was in his sixties and wanted to mend his relationship with his son and daughter. A gambler and alcoholic for most of his life, he lost his children to a divorce and a sea of whiskey. Sobriety came late in life and birthed a new man. He was not able to locate his children for several of his new sober years. During that time, he lived in Los Angeles and started practicing yoga. His body was not able to move into the stretching poses that the posters displayed at the studio, but his teacher inspired him to read about the philosophy of yoga. In doing so he learned about non-violence, the first and most important rule to follow.
As John started being kind to himself, he felt conflicted. He did not deny his mistakes from the past, but the memories of days gone by made him feel hypocritical. How could he be kind to himself when he still felt he deserved to be punished? Through the magic of the Internet, he found my Web site, and we started corresponding by phone and email. He was naturally philosophical and an avid reader of my online newsletters. It was the inspiration of ancient stories about overcoming guilt and shame that gave him hope of triumph. But it was his intellect that brought his attention to his past mistakes, even though his best intentions were to move forward.
My conversations with John turned to the topic of non-violence. John did not realize that his habit of self-condemnation was in confl ict with his beliefs about non-violence. His intellect was actually causing harm to himself every time he recalled an unpleasant event that led him to feel regret or remorse. He was mentally "beating himself up" and I helped him realize that it had to stop. Because of his philosophical nature, I knew that when he heard the ancient story of Jaigishavya's struggle with the same issue, he could then apply the same methodology to uproot his own misery.
Jaigishavya was a sincere yogi trying to break free of his old habit patterns. He became entrapped by his own intellect and sought the counsel of the sage Avatya . This gentle sage advised him to sharpen his intellect so that he could understand his infatuation with the errors of his past. He explained, "Your interest in your past is an indication of your desire to reclaim it. And this desire to reclaim the past is due to your attachment. You are aware that most of your past is painful. Logically, you should have no desire to re-associate yourself with painful events, yet you are drawn to them. Why? It is because you are attached to your actions, the fruit of your actions and their subtle impressions. You treasure them in your mind, although you know how useless, ugly and painful they are."
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